By Brene Brown
I enjoyed listening to the book. It’s good to be reminded what good behavior looks like, especially for the parts that don’t come naturally. Having read most of her other books and listened to many of the podcasts, there wasn’t a lot of information that felt fresh and new. It felt more like minor updates to the Dare to Lead universe. The beginning was amusing as it started with anecdotes that first applied very closely to my wife’s current circumstance and then pivoted to a story that was a perfect fit for my own behavior (looking to buy a bunch of tools/solutions rather than just facing the problem). Brown’s failure to find game changing improvements with her fancy tablet for note taking helped me kill the idea that I should get a fancy tablet for note taking. Pen and paper are great.
I’d love for the management team to read this book and discuss it, but I’ve already learned that there’s no interest in such activities.
One piece of the book directly addressed a bad behavior on my part. Brown referred to it as the mouse in the pocket. Making arguments and saying “we” without having specific names and attestations in order to suggest the support of a crowd. She said that such behavior is unacceptable in her organization. Either use “I” or explicitly name people who are willing to stand behind a message. This makes sense. I’m guilty of using the “we” in this way when I’ve heard in other conversations that people support my view, but I don’t have permission to bring their name into the conversation. I want it to be acknowledged that it’s not only my own personal opinion, but I don’t want to drag someone else into it. That creates a weird situation for my sparring partner who can’t identify or address who “we” is and can’t even confirm that there are other people involved. I should make a point to ask people if they are willing to be on-record about particular points. Then, I can either name them, or know that I have to be “I” in any conversations on the subject.
I really liked this quote when it came up from Dr. Sarah Lewis:
“This book rarely uses the word failure, though it is at the heart of its subject. The word failure is imperfect. Once we begin to transform it, it ceases to be that any longer. The term is always slipping off the edges of our vision, not simply because it’s hard to see without wincing, but because once we are ready to talk about it, we often call the event something else–a learning experience, a trial, a reinvention–no longer the static concept.”