By Stephen Covey
This is only my second time through this one, although I think of it as the book that started my self improvement reading. The first time I read it, I was inspired to maintain an aggressive reading schedule and to consume the top titles in management, leadership, and personal growth. This time I am listening to the audiobook, mostly during cardio exercise. I’ve been reminded of some key points. The one that hit the hardest recently was about the center of one’s life. The author makes the case that values/principle center is the winning option and he described many common centers that are adopted by people (money, power, popularity, achievement, etc) and how they fall short. When he discussed the notion of some people who are enemy-centered, he acknowledged that it would sound silly to a lot of people. Why would you spend a great deal of time thinking about someone you don’t like? I realized the extent that I do that. I’ve been very conscious lately (hopefully it sticks!) about putting my mind toward more important things.
Further in, I was affected by the section on empathic listening. The author pointed out the problems with “active listening” as a technique, which can come across as condescending or probing without the sincere desire to understand both the intellectual content and the emotional content. I’ve been guilty of this. I think I’m doing the right thing, trying to figure out the meaning of the message but I haven’t been good about tuning into how people feel.
The author struggles with first listen to understand the most. That makes sense. That’s probably true for me.
The latter portion that talked about sharpening the axe contained the advice that I latched onto about reading aggressively. The author suggested a book a month, then 2, then a book a week. I’ve not hit that rate yet, but I’ve done better than 2 per month.
Two quotes in the book that weren’t his: “A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.” and “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”