By Simon Sinek
This is closer to what I wanted when I read Start With Why. I went into that book hoping for more advice about finding a WHY. It didn’t have that, nor did it make a particularly strong case for the necessity of determining WHY. I was already a believer prior to opening the book, so I continued on the path anyway, but if I wasn’t already convinced, I don’t think Start With Why would’ve done it for me.
Sinek brushes off concerns that the Whys all sound the same, but that bothers me. There are enough constraints on WHY statements, both in concept and format, that I’m skeptical about their overall value. Is this a ruse to show us that there’s one core purpose for all humans?
Still, I’m frustrated in a work environment with no identity and no direction, so I’m desperate for any help I can get. ChatGPT assisted summary follows.
Your Why comes from who you are—it is discovered, not invented. The process is based on identifying patterns in your most meaningful past experiences.
Step-by-Step Process
- Choose a Partner (Why Discovery Partner)
- Someone who listens well and asks insightful questions.
- Ideally this is someone you are comfortable opening up to, but at the same time someone that doesn’t know you too well. They shouldn’t be filling in details that they already know, they should be hearing stories for the first time.
- Their role is to help you reflect and find patterns—they don’t tell you your Why.
- Collect and Share Stories
- Share 5–10 stories from your life when you felt proud, fulfilled, or impactful.
- I was planning to do this during book club, but his advice is to not do it in public (due to how personal the stories will get) and also that several hours should be committed to this activity.
- These can be from childhood, school, work, family—any time that felt meaningful.
- Identify Themes
- The partner listens for recurring emotions, values, or contributions.
- Highlight specific actions and their impact on others.
- Draft a Why Statement
- Format: To [contribution] so that [impact].
- Example: To help others grow so that they can reach their full potential.
- Refine and Validate
- Test your Why Statement with others: does it feel authentic? Is it actionable?
- Refine wording until it resonates deeply.
The Why should be rooted in the past, not in aspirational goals.
It should feel true immediately—if it feels off, dig deeper.
Language matters: the final wording should be emotionally and intellectually compelling.